She was alone in a city, with no family, no friends, no roomates, with no boyfriend close to her due to covid. Does he still talk to you or at least try to. Fear of getting hurt: Sometimes, depression is so difficult to deal with anything else feels too scary. 2) Is there any chance hell be back? He broke up with me. Over the phone, he broke up with me. Tell them how you feel, but what is causing you to think that breaking up is the way to go. I wish I could help him, I wish we could be the happy us that we used to be. We would talk and he said his son had noticed a change in him of not being happy as usual. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. He adores his granddaughter. If youre facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. Did your boyfriend break up with you because of depression and youre wondering why he did that? It hurts so bad, I have never felt so much emotional pain before. Said all the things Ive read here like its really not you and I just need to be by myself. Those suffering from high-functioning depression are often their own worst critics, and its difficult to turn that criticism off. While hes doing that, its best that you stay away from him and give him the space he needs. I found this method quite useful to minimise the chance of my mind filled up by the same thoughts all the time it helped me to be less confused, and could progress even though the pain would take a long time to heal. maybe we can talk privately? Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? Depression sometimes puts additional weight on a relationship and makes the couple struggle to stay emotionally connected. I miss him so much and I just wish I could talk to him and hug him it hurts so much. Studies suggest that people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. It has been commonly understood that positive symptoms of schizophrenia decline in later life, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#Helping a depressed spouse. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. Breakups are always difficult, going through one can be a traumatic experience. and would complain about everything in his life. It depends on how much time has passed since the end of the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-2','ezslot_9',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-2-0'); Knowing if one of you has moved on is also an aspect to consider about them going back. So dont think that hell run back to you the moment he feels better. I had a traumatic run in with my ex abusive parenter and needed him. I wish that he felt the way I did (that we can weather any storm together) but this blog will help me to keep looking forward and to let him go. We love each other & I was honestly shocked when he blindsided me with a breakup. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. Even being apart, we would call, videocall, text, watch movies together, listen to musics together, play games, every single day and whenever it was possible. In this post, well talk about what to do if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression. I regret i couldnt be there in real life for her when she needed me the most during the past months and due to COVID, i couldnt give her any physical love and reassure her, but i also know that i did everything i could, i was always there for her, and i made her the happiest girl on this world while i was her boyfriend. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. he says how he wants to be best friends and then later date but Im so scared we wont get to do either of those. I dont want to go out to date because that is simply wrong although I do feel the need to talk it is a dilemma. The same is true for your ex. Read self-help books together to understand how to deal with depression and make a list of everything that could help him get out of the slump comfortably. We met when he transferred into my class and took a seat next to me.. I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. Does he miss me? Everything went for the best, and we would travel to see each other during summers and winters. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. Thank you for sharing. Observe his actions. If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. I wanna stay friends but I love him so much Would that be healthy? His mother became ill which he had to take care of her and his own medical issues. Its what he needs to stop feeling the negative emotions he broke up with you for. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. He said he has thought about about it a lot and he hasnt been truly happy for a while and doesnt feel the same as he used to. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. Because I still so badly want to be concidered his girlfriend etc. TOPICS HEALTH INFO. He decided that the best way to deal with smothering emotions was to get space from them and not deal with them at all. They cant just fix everything they need to fix because they think their exes are a big part of their issues. You shouldnt feel too bad and think that hes secretly looking for you to care about him and help him. Why Is My Ex So Mean When My Ex Broke Up With Me? We had a great relationship so I thought. Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. Im just so confused as the best way to be with him if it is depression. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',103,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-medrectangle-3-0'); As with any other breakup, you can feel like you did something wrong, maybe that you didnt care for them enough. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. Tell him how his behaviors are affecting the relationship and most importantly ruining your mental condition. He does this because people close to him have a lot of expectations, requests, and sometimes even demands. During extensive heated anger prone interactions, try to keep your cool. Theres no guarantee that your ex will come back after hes dealt with depression, but if he starts dating again and gets hurt (or gets hurt in some other way), he could seek solace in you and try to obtain your validation. I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. He kept disappointing me by canceling plans last minute and when I finally communicated my disappointment, which we agreed to do, he said I triggered him and caused his anxiety to raise everytime I messaged him. Work on losing hope and let him message you if he wants to. He needs to know hes not that person anymore and that you know your worth. Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? We were both survivors of abusive relationships but only I was dealing with the trauma. If your ex-boyfriend has a history of depression or his family members have suffered from depression before, you must consider his depression a serious matter. Everything started to go downhill starting January 2021. In my heart though there is a very big hole. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him. Hes the dumper no matter what hes dealing with. Many people are familiar with the five stages of griefdenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They prefer to be on their own because that way, they feel the safest. And guilt wont help him feel closer to you. Recently, his mother called him up and was very upset that his dad wanted to finalize the divorce with his mother and ever since then he has been distant and all. They will do that to achieve their goals, which can be keeping the relationship as is or getting you to do something for them. Such behavior is no different from ordinary dumper behavior. You will also learn how to help your partner get over the dark phase and ways to reconnect and rebuild your relationship with him. Depression My boyfriend broke up with me because his depression and anxiety has gotten worse. If you want him back then you're going to have to make a few changes. Before you seek help from a mental health professional, try to understand what your partner is going through. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . It can change their behavior, how they see the world, and relate to people. With that in mind, it is safe to say that depression can have an impact on the relationship. Breakups Throwaway, because Gods knows I don't ever want to see this thread again after this week. In the beginning we struggled as he had deeper feelings for me. It is not even them. Well just make it simple and split them up into two types; long-term and short-term. Have cried for 12 hours straight. They have a lack of motivation, satisfaction and interest in anything. I am so torn right nowalthough we have only been together for a short time (four months), what we had was real. Ive heard just about every breakup excuse there is and I can tell you that this one is a doozy. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. Thanks for your question. Another aspect is concerning how the relationship was. Hi there. Share your thoughts below. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. He was so sweet and loving. Then we got really close, and our feelings grew stronger and we decided to take it a step further and be in couple. It really doesn't change. Injured animals tend to follow the same pattern. She was getting more and more in depression ever since she moved, and i really tried my best to be there for her, to show her that i care and love her, and that shes not alone and that ill always be there for her, as usual and as i always did since we met. So focus on your pain rather than his. Its something dumpers do to avoid dealing with a highly emotional situation. Sorry for the long message! Its unlikely that hell come back just because hell deal with depression. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. then said "I Love you" for the first time. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. Tell him how his depression can be detrimental to his mental health, his career, his life and his relationships. They are also very critical about people around them and their own selves. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I know I cant fix him so Im slowly starting to accept he may not deal with it or come back. I think it might give you some good insight into what's going on with your boyfriend. How is it going for you now? We spent everyday focusing on our studies, our work, while building our love, our relashionship, looking forward to that future together where we would finally be able to be together. She had to rent another place close to her college. 3) Do depressed people go through the same stages of dumpers remorse as others? From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. During this time we barely fought and were super compatible--we were always joking around and having fun. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. This is pretty typical behavior for depressed men who aren't getting adequately treated and by that I mean, aren't in therapy as well as taking medication. Depression makes a person feel numb. How long did it take? Its hard to see that right now, but give it some time and youll see. Manage Settings Ok, first and foremost, I'm very happy that in a relationship as hard as this one, you found the resilience to fight for it. He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. I know that he suffered with depression when he was a teenager, and with the stress of his new job he started to withdraw from activities and pastimes he once loved. How did things evolve for you both ? Those are real friends/romantic partners. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Home Relationships My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. I really feel like talking to someone who is in the same shoes to feel better although I dont know if that would make both feel better. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. My boyfriend is suffering from depression and he has been in a really bad mood lately saying how nobody cares about him and how life is pointless and meaningless and things like that and he just broke up with me a couple of hours ago. . The phase is so dark that he would end up accepting the fact that he has never loved you ever. I thought he might be depressed so I brought him flowers & food almost everyday although he didnt want to talk to me; hed barely looked at me in the face. I told him Id always be here for him and how much I love him. He asked me not to go to his house. Lets reverse roles for a minute. I feel abandoned let down but to hear him sobbing and telling me I deserved so much better than him, that he couldnt give me what I wanted even though all I ever asked for was his time broke my heart. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. If you feel your husbands/boyfriends depression is no more tolerable and breakup is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. Which didnt get better. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. He told me the other day he started to feel bad again recently and he needs to take a break and that he didnt want to do this because he knew how much it would hurt me and it made him so upset. Depression is so peculiar couples break up because of it and also get back together because of it (because they want help). Hell message you if he changes his mind. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. We are going to look for counseling and a proper therapy with proper psychologists that can give her proper help and medications, and after that ill let her be and give her the space and time she needs, while still being there for her at any time and whenever she needs me. Before you engage in self-blame, though, you need to know that your ex-boyfriend left because he couldnt communicate his issues and work on his issues alone or with you. A person with mental illness that is emotionally stable and is in treatment can be as great a partner as any other person. Im going through the same thing. Ever since that day we moved on to being in couple, every single day, every single moments were the happiest and the best of my life, of our life. I understand why the break up happened because he has too many things to deal with. I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. Evidence says depression is not directly linked with breakup but certain ill behaviours and actions undertaken by the patient may lead to divorce or breakup between romantic partners. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. As a dumpee, you likely cant tell whether your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth or if hes just unhappy with you. Do I just still treat him like a dumper?! Before you even think about being in a relationship with your ex or anyone else for that matter, you should heal your trauma. Always remember that people who care about you will stay in your life and come to your aid. They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. I know, for a fact, he suffers from a depression. Besides getting professional help, as a partner and more than that as a friend, you should be supportive and kind to him. You just accepted the end of the romantic relationship and stopped treating him as the most important person. In these situations, a talk therapist can be great. Advice on a break with . Week into my breakup now. No matter what he does, he cant be of much help. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you, so its absence will give you pain.. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Sorry for this long long essay, but it makes me feel much better writing it down and sharing it. Know that it is not you. If your partner is reluctant to communicate, please do not force him. You didnt agree to this. He said he wants to focus on himself and getting back on track. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. His friends had taken him to a psychiatrist & has been on medication ever since! I know from reading the articles that his decision to leave wasnt just impulsive and despite his reasons for leaving being that he doesnt love me anymore or see a future I believe its down to depression. This will make you feel connected and loved, as it will also give you a space to talk about your feelings and be supported. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. All she had was work, studies, and she had to learn to pay bills on her own, manage her money and have to worry about it. And although that is the case, the most commons symptoms of depression are: Depression can have a big impact on a persons relationship. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. Step 1: Find the real reason for the breakup Think long and hard about what really went wrong in the relationship. So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions.