He bought it and it is in his name. YOU GOT THIS! At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! 9 min read. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. His family is great also. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. I too feel torn by a similar situation. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. Thank you for purchase! My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? No going back. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. Why is she with you? Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. You should do what will make you happy. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. Immerse yourself in nature. Having a baby is a life-changing experience and many want to ensure they do it at a time that is right for them. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. Best of luck. Sex is the leading cause of babies. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . The Preferential Parent. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. He's not all bad. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? This discussion is archived and locked for posting. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Oh, I agree 100%. Damaged. but she didn't have her baby . So, we got married. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? You need to get in contact with services and leave. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. So remember to try to be the best of you. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? Well of course he would keep the car. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. Hair. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y Create an account or log in to participate. Hi everyone! So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. Ex GIrlfriend blocked me out of the blue! Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Is anyone in the same situation. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? Being in a lo. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. We don't have to be together to love our children. If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? Add to Collection. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. not the father, mother or child. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. What issues have you two had? Cookie Notice Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. That's when one of them dropped the term . A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! In the end its all about the kids. That's what we tackle in today's blog. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? It's not that they don't want to. Ex My moving on process. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. Time to grow up! What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Long story as short as possible! They were always fighting, unhappy. Im in the exact same boat man. Having a baby with someone you don't love. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? First step: Don't rush things. Add to Favorites. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. She doesn't deserve that. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. SAY IT AGAIN! Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. Be confident. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. We can and should celebrate those things while also giving our love and support to those who are struggling to get there, and to those who don't want any part of that scene, ever. In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. And, the combination of all of these factors can really take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! Same boat. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. She has someone who depends solely on her. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. You've been clear with him from the start. Nothing from the start. THE CHILD WILL HAVE MOTHER AND FATHER TOGETHER. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . Just not with her. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. 37 weeks today. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. Accept That You Will Never Be First. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Why not sharing in the upbringing of the child? Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? If you don't, pursuing. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. And the same with me. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. form is an illusion. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. That showed up as a third factor." So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. Single. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? CLICK HERE to subscribe to our daily up-to-date news!! GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. 4. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. Where are you from? It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. Making your child or probably children at this point live in hell as well because hey if you married her you may as well keep having sex and bring more kids in the world who would have to listen to the fighting, name calling, hate. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . All rights reserved. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I don't know what to do. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. This is nuts. . But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. You don't even love him. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. I too got burned with the kid trap. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. Why would you do that? To think about the kids. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? My kids are doing good. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I sacraficed my needs for them. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. She is 6 months pregnant now. and our Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. I wasn't happy. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. THAT'S IT. May you both be happy and healthy. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. He's not in love so he's selfish??? We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . They didn't want to break up the family. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. Hey I know exactly how you feel. He is a grown up. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I couldn't be myself with him. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. We didn't have to be. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Download Preview. He was a rebound for me. It doesn't, does it? if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). If you don't love her then don't be with her. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? Your bodies will fit together perfectly. You're a mom now. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. Steve. Need help, advice? But kids are smarter than you think. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? I need help moving on. I didn't want to waste one more day of my life feeling empty and with someone I didn't even like. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION.