So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Press Enter / Return to begin your search. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" They own all the important land. "Forget the politicians. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. The only country that could invade America is America! }); We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Topics. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. He loves you and he needs money. }); There is a mistake in the text of this quote. And armbands. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Right in the fucking head! Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. Its interested in its own power. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. fetchBids: function() { My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . You have owners. Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Just daydreaming. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. "George Carlin confronts reality". The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). You have no choice. Period. They will do anything for the unborn. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. American for(var i=0; i=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? Lists. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. They own, and control the corporations. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) October 29, 2004. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. (function() { Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. q("f", arguments) We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. gads.type = "text/javascript"; People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. q("i", arguments) Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. I've set my own rules to live by. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. A = p.createElement(s); Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. They own, and control the corporations. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. born on May 12, 1937, But once youre born, youre on your own. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! You dont. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? It seems only right. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. George Carlin. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. They're imaginary. a[a9] = { George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. Because theres no money in that problem. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. Theres a humorous side to every situation. George Carlin. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. if (isRetina) { The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. The challenge is to find it. } And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. //]]> googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. for(var i=0; i Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Ever. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. } He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. "Men are from Earth,. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Then you live in an old age home. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. "Events.Namespace": "csa", _Q: [] "Never argue with an idiot. //]]> "Laugh often, long and loud. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Property is theft. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Weve added years to life, not life to years. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. Your email address will not be published. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. 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Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Thats the problem. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; " George Carlin 14. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Religion class was always an easy class. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. return cookiePair[1]; Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. The planet is fine. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. [.] googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. "I have certain rules I live by. Quotes. People are wonderful. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. apstag.init({ The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.